6 Steps for “Dealing” With Loneliness
My wife asked me to write an article on what to do about loneliness. Well, seeing as I feel lonely now because she and my six month old baby are away from me, I don’t know if that qualifies me as an expert or one in need of guidance. I joked with her, as she asked via email, “What do you do about loneliness?” by replying, “You come home. That’s what you do. And bring my baby.”
But, really, folks, what to do besides being together with people we love and recognizing that most of us are social beings who need community and contact? I don’t think you’ll like my answer. It is pretty much the same one as I often give, only now plug loneliness into the context. Counseling based on natural wisdom isn’t always “fun” – it is real. That’s why most people want to go to shrinks who will indulge their fantastical dramas, take pills that will make them feel better instantly, or go to the movies and not feel what they are feeling.
But, try this process next time you are suffering from loneliness and realize that avoiding emotional pain in the myriad ways we do really doesn’t work:
- Feel it
- Know that it is natural and not inherently problematic
- Don’t believe the story you mind is telling you about why you are lonely
- Just continue to feel, but now don’t only drop the story about why but also drop the story that you are even lonely
- Notice any physical tensions you are holding in your body and consciously relax them
- I repeat, don’t label your sensations at all… just FEEL them. don’t try to change them, don’t analyze them, don’t resist them, DON’T THINK about them, and don’t numb out to them… just penetrate them so completely, relaxing your body completely, that you dissolve the difference between “you” and “your” feelings – leaving only raw feeling
If you honestly perform these steps with loneliness, or any other other emotion that you want to plug into this equation, it will go away all in its own. Emotions don’t last longer than momentary arisings that fade away – unless we attach meaning to the story about the emotion. Some stories are stickier than others and might arise again and again, but if you find that emotions are lasting longer than just moments it is probably because you are not well practiced at the above process. That’s fine, few of us are. Or, its one of your tough sticking points and that’s okay, too.
Keep working it with the key ingredient of a sincere, heartfelt wish to grow beyond your perceived limitations, beyond what you could ever imagine as possible. The “energy of mind” released in this process is the Source of power, wisdom, love and compassion of your True Nature. Our True Nature is characterized by an experience of freedom and joy and includes a life of contentment wherein we contribute to the betterment of all. And, more than that, the energy that we liberate by feeling completely and letting go of the stories that bind us, will truly empower us with radiant health and tremendous power to accomplish our greatest goals.
Energy of Mind: A Sauhu Therapy is working to Cultivate the Spirit of Innate Human Virtue. Please support us by taking a moment to like our page on FB, here and share this blog on your social networks of choice with the icons below. Thank you.